Dear Sophia,
Tomorrow you turn 1 year old. As I sit writing this post I have tears in my eyes; tears of happiness and sadness. Sadness for reaching this milestone so quickly, my tiny baby who I grew inside me being a whole year old. Happiness and pride for the beautiful, clever little girl you have become.
You see, I have wanted you for as long as I remember. Ever sine I was a little girl I’ve wanted a husband, my own house and a baby of my own. Some people know they want to be a vet or an actress or a lawyer. I knew the only thing I really wanted to be was a wife and a mother.
We struggled to have you and a month before I found out I was expecting you I was really down and sad, thinking it may never happen. But even those months of sadness were a blessing – if we’d had a baby any earlier it wouldn’t have been you! And we wouldn’t know what a truly precious gift you are.
My pregnancy with you was fairly smooth, we had two small scares but overall I had a very healthy pregnancy luckily! I remember saying to your Dad when we were expecting you that the moment you are placed in my arms and he was by my side that I’d have everything I’ve ever wanted.
The day I went into labour with you was so special. I pottered around the flat, checked everything in our hospital bags and had a lot of baths! I was so excited that I was finally going to meet you. I’ll never forget that moment you were placed up onto my chest, warm and wriggling and looking over at your Daddy’s face filled with tears. I fell in love with you there and then and knew I would do absolutely anything for you.
I remember the early days of being a mother. Bringing you home to start our new life together. That first night we couldn’t stop looking at you and marvelling at your incredible beauty. Some days were tough. I’d never been in charge of anything so demanding before! Some days you would just want to be held; I couldn’t shower, make any lunch or do any of the housework. But I just held you knowing that it’s what you needed and that those moments would be fleeting. And they were. All to soon you seemed to grow and started wanting to explore. I’d give anything to hold you, fast asleep on my chest and smell you’re newborn smell once more, even just for a few seconds.
Before I had you I had visions of being a perfect mother with the perfect house and thought I’d get everything right but now I know that there is no such thing as a perfect mother. Only a mum who can be there when you need them and shower you with love and to keep trying her best when some days it just feels like she does it all wrong. You’re sweet smiling face and little giggles are the best reward and I realise I’m not doing too badly.
You’ve changed me in so many ways, all for the better. I no longer care what others think or whether my house is tidy all of the time. You have made me learn patience and what is really important in life; love and family.
I love being a family with you and your Daddy. I look at you together and feel so proud and so in love with you both. He is an amazing Daddy to you I know he’ll always be there for you and for us. Times can be tough, we’re a young family and we don’t have lots of money to splash out but none of that matters – as long as we’re together we’ll have the best time! We love nothing more than getting out and about together and doing something new.
Sometimes I sit and wonder what the future will be like, what will you be like when you’re older.What will your talents be? What will you be interested in? Who will you look most like? I know that I will love you no matter what.
I am so incredibly proud of you, my beautiful daughter, and no matter where life takes you or who you grow into I will ALWAYS be here for you, stand next to you and hold your hand.
So as I sit here tonight, only a few hours to go until you turn one, you snuggly sleeping upstairs in your cot, I know that what I said all those months ago to your Daddy is true – I have everything I have ever wanted. You make our ordinary life extraordinary.
I love you more than words could ever say.
Happy 1st Birthday beautiful girl,
Lots of love, your Mummy.xxx
