Dear Sophia: 1 Year Your Mother

Dear Sophia,

Tomorrow you turn 1 year old. As I sit writing this post I have tears in my eyes; tears of happiness and sadness. Sadness for reaching this milestone so quickly, my tiny baby who I grew inside me being a whole year old. Happiness and pride for the beautiful, clever little girl you have become.

You see, I have wanted you for as long as I remember. Ever sine I was a little girl I’ve wanted a husband, my own house and a baby of my own. Some people know they want to be a vet or an actress or a lawyer. I knew the only thing I really wanted to be was a wife and a mother.

We struggled to have you and a month before I found out I was expecting you I was really down and sad, thinking it may never happen. But even those months of sadness were a blessing – if we’d had a baby any earlier it wouldn’t have been you! And we wouldn’t know what a truly precious gift you are.

My pregnancy with you was fairly smooth, we had two small scares but overall I had a very healthy pregnancy luckily! I remember saying to your Dad when we were expecting you that the moment you are placed in my arms and he was by my side that I’d have everything I’ve ever wanted.

The day I went into labour with you was so special. I pottered around the flat, checked everything in our hospital bags and had a lot of baths! I was so excited that I was finally going to meet you. I’ll never forget that moment you were placed up onto my chest, warm and wriggling and looking over at your Daddy’s face filled with tears. I fell in love with you there and then and knew I would do absolutely anything for you.

I remember the early days of being a mother. Bringing you home to start our new life together. That first night we couldn’t stop looking at you and marvelling at your incredible beauty. Some days were tough. I’d never been in charge of anything so demanding before! Some days you would just want to be held; I couldn’t shower, make any lunch or do any of the housework. But I just held you knowing that it’s what you needed and that those moments would be fleeting. And they were. All to soon you seemed to grow and started wanting to explore. I’d give anything to hold you, fast asleep on my chest and smell you’re newborn smell once more, even just for a few seconds.

Before I had you I had visions of being a perfect mother with the perfect house and thought I’d get everything right but now I know that there is no such thing as a perfect mother. Only a mum who can be there when you need them and shower you with love and to keep trying her best when some days it just feels like she does it all wrong. You’re sweet smiling face and little giggles are the best reward and I realise I’m not doing too badly.

You’ve changed me in so many ways, all for the better. I no longer care what others think or whether my house is tidy all of the time. You have made me learn patience and what is really important in life; love and family.

I love being a family with you and your Daddy. I look at you together and feel so proud and so in love with you both. He is an amazing Daddy to you I know he’ll always be there for you and for us. Times can be tough, we’re a young family and we don’t have lots of money to splash out but none of that matters – as long as we’re together we’ll have the best time! We love nothing more than getting out and about together and doing something new.

Sometimes I sit and wonder what the future will be like, what will you be like when you’re older.What will your talents be? What will you be interested in? Who will you look most like? I know that I will love you no matter what.

I am so incredibly proud of you, my beautiful daughter, and no matter where life takes you or who you grow into I will ALWAYS be here for you, stand next to you and hold your hand.

So as I sit here tonight, only a few hours to go until you turn one, you snuggly sleeping upstairs in your cot, I know that what I said all those months ago to your Daddy is true – I have everything I have ever wanted. You make our ordinary life extraordinary.

I love you more than words could ever say.

Happy 1st Birthday beautiful girl,

Lots of love, your Mummy.xxx

Dear Sophia: 10 & 11 Months Old

Dear Sophia,

You are now only weeks away from your first birthday and I can’t believe how the time has flown! You are a true joy and I can’t believe our luck that we have you for our daughter. You really are changing into a little girl now and you seem to be understanding more about the world around you.

You’re a cheeky little character and you get into everything, especially all of the things we don’t want you to get into! If there is a little bit of fluff or a wire not quite strapped down, you’re straight there making mischief and we love you for it.

This month saw Mummy finishing working in Birmingham to spend more time with you and so far I’ve been loving it! We have our little routine and enjoy our daily walks, play times and story times. We also have been going to two groups a week – stay and play on a Monday and a library singing group on Friday’s. We always get new library books while we are there as you’re such a bookworm! You love getting out and about and joining in with all the world has to offer.

Your 10th and 11th month has seen you come along so much, both in your development but also in you appearance. Your hair is really growing now and makes you look so much more grown up.

Eating

You still have a fantastic appetite! You eat all the food we give to you and I enjoy finding new, healthy recipes to feed you. Meal times are lovely all together at the table and you love to see that we’re all eating the same. You are gradually weaning yourself off your baby milk and are eating more food during the day. You eat most of what is on your plate and when you’ve had enough you pull your own bib off and push the bowl away (or sometimes start trying to throw the bowl on the floor!). Up until recently I used to load food (like porridge or yogurt) onto the spoon and you’d then put the spoon into your mouth yourself but now you can use the spoon more or less yourself to scoop up the food. You’re trying hard to use your fork too but that’s a little more tricky!

You enjoy having a snack here and there now too, we usually share some fruit or rice cakes in the afternoon to keep you going until dinner time.

(Eating a pear like a big girl)

Development

The last two month have seen more changes.

• Teeth. You now have two teeth on the bottom gums which are completely through and look so cute when you smile.
• Copy sounds. Your speech has come on a lot in the past few weeks. What you say is now starting to sound more like words. You copy the sounds Daddy and I make and you say ‘mud’ for Smudge and ‘bu’ for bye and bubbles as well as ‘mummummum’ for me and ‘dadda’ for daddy.
• Standing unaided. You can stand completely on your own without falling over which is really exciting! You have taken a step on your own and I don’t think it will be too much longer until you are walking.
• Kiss. You kiss us when we say ‘kiss’ which is the sweetest thing!
• Stroke Smudge. You used to be really rough with poor Smudge but gradually we’ve been showing you how to use gentle hands and you now stroke him really nicely. When you stroke him gently you look at us and start clapping, knowing you’re doing the right thing.
• Look at books independently. I’ve noticed that lately you prefer to look at books rather than play with your toys. You sit with them and turn each page carefully. Sometimes you’ll chatter away while your doing it which is a fantastic sign of a budding reader! Although you do this a lot, you’re favourite thing to do is clamber onto our lap to listen to the story.

(Some water play on a quiet afternoon)

Five Favourites at 10 & 11 Months:

Favourite toy: This month it is probably your ball tower which you got for Christmas. You put the balls in the top and they then fall down through the levels to the bottom. Once it reaches the bottom you’ll clap in delight then do it again.

Favourite book: You’re favourite books this month are the book you had for Christmas, ‘Tales from Acorn’ wood which is a lovely rhyming book with flaps in it. You’ve also really been enjoying our nightly bedtime book ‘Goodnight Moon’. It’s a lovely soothing book which we read up on our bed before putting you down for the night.

Favourite food: Cheese! You are like a little mouse! It’s always the first part of the meal you’ll go for. I’m glad you like cheese as much as Daddy and I do!

Favourite activity: Probably still reading. You spend most of the day with a book!

Favourite thing to do or say: You love playing peepo! You like to be the one to hide and then surprise us! When we put you into your cot you pull the blanket up over your head and wait for us to say ‘Where’s Sophia?’ then you’ll pull the blanket down and give us a cheeky smile.

(In this picture Sophia is wearing a little snood that I crocheted myself for her – I love how it turned out and is perfect for this chilly weather!)

We love you so much Sophia, every day you make us laugh and you’re always doing something new and different. Soon you’ll be turning one and a whole new adventure will begin!

Happy 11 month birthday beautiful girl!

Lots of love from Mummy and Daddy.xxx

2013…Looking Back

 

2013 has been a rollercoaster year for us! We’ve had soaring highs and difficult lows.

2013, the year that was…

 

The Pits of 2013

• Marking one year of our house being on the market with no success.
• Having trouble with the sellers of the house we wanted and eventually having to pull out of the sale.
• Spending over two months apart during our house move.
• James losing his job.
• Illness and hospital stays for my sister and mother and father in law.

 

The Peaks of 2013

• Selling our flat.
• Having our beautiful baby girl, Sophia.
• The birth of our sweet little niece, Florence.
• Getting to spend lots of time with my family during the time I was staying in Ludlow.
• Sophia’s christening.
• Celebrating 2 years of marriage and 6 years together.
• My mum getting her teaching qualification.
• Becoming closer to my Dad, Grandparents and step family.
• Moving to our new house.
• Adding Smudge to our family.
• James being offered a new job.
• Celebrating Christmastime with all the people we love.

Even in the times when we seem to have had a string of bad luck, I’m so grateful for the life I have. Having Sophia has made me look at life differently and realise that we are here for such a short time that we should enjoy every moment of the life we have and to show love to the people we care about. I feel so incredibly blessed to have every single family member and friend in my life and I hope that 2014 is a year which brings everyone happiness!

Happy new year from The Smith Family.xxx

Traditions

At the age of 25 I still love Christmas just as much as I did when I was younger, if not more! And now I have my own child it has got so much more exciting!

Aside from the obvious of it being Jesus’s Birthday, to me Christmas is all about traditions that are anticipated with joy each year. As a child I knew it was Christmas when I started to see the Coca-cola advert on TV, the music and the bells bringing me so much excitement. Or the tradition of carefully finding then ripping open the doors on the advent calendar each day and  tasting that little bite of sweet chocolate that seemed to be much tastier than chocolate at any other time of the year. And, of course, the lead up to our Christmas nativity plays at school. Weeks of practising our lines, singing the same few carols over and over and then hurriedly getting into our costumes on the big night! There is just something so magical about it all!

I know lots of people think that Christmas has become a time of over-consumerism and a complete waste of money but most of the traditions that I most enjoyed and still enjoy involve little or no money at all.

Since last Christmas, when I was pregnant with Sophia, we’ve been thinking, “what will be our family Christmas traditions?” We’ve come up with a few which are important to us and we hope they’re things that our children look back on and cherish.

The Four Gift Rule

We both think it’s important that we limit the amount of presents we give Sophia. We don’t want her to associate Christmas with getting mounds of presents and for that to be her main focus. This year we are entering the new year with uncertainty about my job and money. We have already tightened our belts in preparation but this is something we would’ve done anyway no matter how well off we were.

Here are the four rules we’ll be using for our children…

I think, when it comes to children, they’d much rather do things with their parents and create memories rather than have lots of toys they’ll soon grow bored of. I’m not in any way bashing what other parents do as every family is different; this is just what we believe will work best for our family. With the money we’ll save from giving only four gifts we’ll be able to spend on going to different places together.

This year we have got Sophia:

Something she wants: A soft dolly. We used to see this looking around Sainsbury’s and every time I showed Sophia it she’d get so excited and try to grab it!

Something she needs: A hammer bench. She needs something educational to extend her development. This toy will teach her lots of practical skills such as hand-eye co-ordination, colour distinction and motor skills.

Something to wear: A wintery top. James chose this pretty little top for Sophia. It’s so sweet with different textures and little snowflakes and I love the peter pan collar.

Something to read: A lift the flap book. Sophia still loves flap books and this one has some beautiful illustrations in with lots of things to point to and talk about – I can’t wait to read it to her! It has three stories inside, all of which rhyme so will help her language development.

24 Books of Christmas

Sophia will be too little for a traditional advent calendar for a while so I was in search of an idea that she would enjoy instead. I saw this idea floating about on the internet and thought it’d be perfect for us! I am obsessed with children’s books! I think I could open my own library with all the ones I have. I’ve read to Sophia since day one and it’s something I’m really passionate about.

The idea is that you collect 24 Christmas books and wrap them up. Each night we’ll unwrap a book together and read it. The last book on Christmas Eve will always be ‘The Night Before Christmas’ as I think it’s such a special story.

We don’t actually have 24 Christmas books at the moment, we have about 11. I’m going to borrow some more from the library to bulk out the selection.

 

A Decoration Collection

Something that we’re doing for Sophia (and will do for future children) is making a collection of decorations for her. Every year we’re going to buy her a new tree decoration. It doesn’t have to mean anything special or fit in with any particular theme, just a lovely decoration that Mummy and Daddy have picked for her. Then when she is grown up, has left home and has her own Christmas tree we’ll give them to her.

She won’t get the full benefit of this tradition until she’s much older but we think it’ll be so special for her to receive.

This is the decoration we chose for Sophia this year. We both liked it and thought it was sweet and smiley; just like her!

Christmas Eve

Not really that special, as I’m sure it’s what most people do, but Christmas Eve evening will be a time for new PJ’s, yummy treats and watching a Christmas film together under blankets.

 

Some of our traditions might sound a little cheesy but they are all about love and family, which is the most important part of Christmas (and life for that matter!). I’m looking forward to our first family Christmas together and making happy, magical memories.

Pinch Me

It’s a rainy, dark Monday morning. We’ve had a testing weekend; I was at training all day Saturday and Sophia has been ill for the rest of the weekend with a cold. She has been grumbly and upset and none of us have got much sleep or many of the things we had planned done.

Our house is covered in clutter, needs a good hoover and don’t even mention how badly the bathroom needs cleaning! But does it matter? Does it really matter? No, it doesn’t at all.

I try to be as positive as I can and I try to never lose sight of what I have.

Being a parent is hard work. Running a house is hard work. Even marriage is hard work! Sometimes I feel like I have no free time to do anything. Sometimes I take my husband for granted. Sometimes I despair about the endless housework. Sometimes I can’t bear to look in the mirror as all I see is a body which doesn’t seem my own anymore, ravaged by pregnancy. If I allowed myself I could get into the head space where everything was ‘bad’ and I could get really down.

When I was trying to conceive Sophia I learned a lot about being patient and being grateful for all I had. Though it was really very tough sometimes, I did my best to see things positively and to enjoy all of the little things.

I have a daughter who is an absolute joy. She’s so bright and sweet and makes me laugh and smile in so many ways. I’m SO proud of her and love to show her off or talk about her at every chance I get.

I have a husband who I love so much and who loves me. I love being partners with him as we grow older and discover what life is all about. I never feel as though I’m on my own and he’s always so supportive of me. I feel very lucky.

Yes I have lots of things to do in my house. But it is my house. I’m lucky that not only do I have a roof over my head but it’s a beautiful house that we worked hard to afford and pay for. We still have lots of plans for the place and lots of things to do but it’s a home we will be in for a long time. It’s a place of security that, as long as we pay our mortgage, it’ll never be taken away from us. I hope to have so many happy times here; Christmases, Birthdays and even bringing our future children home to.

My body is unrecognisable from what it was pre-pregnancy. It wasn’t fantastic before I had Sophia but now my tummy will never be the same! But that’s ok. There are changes I’d like to make to my body but there is no rush and I don’t need to beat myself up over it. I was lucky enough that my body was able to grow my baby! It provided everything she needed and it held her until we could hold her in our arms. And, I have to say, my body did a pretty damn good job at producing the most perfect little girl!

When I look at everything I have, I have a ‘pinch-me’ moment. I know there are so many people in the world who would love what I have; a loving family, warm clothes, plentiful food and much more. I hope I never stop counting my many blessings and knowing how precious they are. My life isn’t perfect and some would find it downright boring. But to me it is perfect.

I’ve decided to do a weekly post about all the things that have made me smile or feel grateful each week. I’ll list at least one thing each day which I’m thankful for. I think it’ll be nice to look back upon in years to come and also for Sophia to see what our family life was like.

So…I’ve resigned!

I’ve been back at work for half a term now and have the scary news that before I broke up for half term I handed my notice in. It was a combination of things that made me do this.
The travelling is SO stressful! I feel like I’m racing to and from work everyday and as the roads are always so busy to get to and from Birmingham I’m filled with panic about getting there on time everyday and then getting back at a decent time to collect Sophia.
Secondly, because I work so far I am leaving Sophia at 7am and collecting her some days at 5:30pm – that’s 10.5 hours of her being out of the house, it’s such a long day for her and she is still a baby at the end of the day. My baby.
Another thing that has pushed me to resign is the fact that I am really unhappy at work now. Since I’ve been back I’ve had a new role of teaching six different classes over three days. Some days I’ll have around 150 books to mark, meaning it’s a choice between having lunch and even going to the loo or being late for Sophia. It is meant to be an easier role as I don’t have many of the usual ‘teacher responsibilities’ like planning, assessments and reports but I find it much harder than being responsible for my own class.
So…I handed my notice in! I’ve started training to become a childminder and should be up and running early next year. I’m still at work until the end of December which means we will have a month or two without my salary which is quite scary but we’ve looked at our finances and will be able to get by in the short term. We will have to give little luxuries and treats a miss for a while (not that we have many of those!) but as long as we can pay the mortgage and the bills we will be just fine. Not to mention the amount we’ll be saving on childcare and petrol.
Being a childminder means I’ll be at home with Sophia, I’ll be my own boss and also I can still do the thing I love which is working with Early Years children.
Though it was a brave, and some might say silly, decision my philosophy is that we only have one life and it shouldn’t be spent doing things that make us unhappy. I want to look back on my life and know that I’ve squeezed every bit of happiness I can from it. The most important thing in my life is and always will be my family. I’m never going to have the chance to be with my baby again so I need to take this opportunity to do so.
I think it’ll be hard and tiring work but lots of fun along the way and what a blessing to see my sweet girl everyday!

Stourport Park

On Monday we decided to take Sophia to Stourport park for a picnic and walk. The weather was glorious! It was such a warm and sunny day and was the perfect way to spend my last day of maternity leave.

The perfect blue sky.

Playing on the swings.

Having a yummy picnic.

Having a long walk by the river and an ice cream.

We had a lovely day!

Little Pleasures

I’ve learnt that when it comes to Sophia (or any baby for that matter!) you don’t need fancy toys or expensive days out, though they are very nice! You can make your own fun doing ordinary, everyday things.

We’d been stuck indoors all morning and the sun came out. I decided to grab her mat, toys, my camera and some bubbles and head into the garden.

We had a lovely time playing, singing, tickling and watching the bubbles in the air. Sophia loved every minute! She grabbing big chunks of grass and trying to eat them! Luckily I managed to stop her before she actually did.

Try as I might I just couldn’t get a good photo of Sophia looking at the bubbles. Every time I blew them she kept closing her eyes as you can see…!

I hope one day Sophia will look back and remember these simple but special memories of spending time just playing and having fun with her mummy.